This is the practice of trusting our inner guidance. That place inside us that we sometimes get to touch and feels like home. That wise guru that has, without a doubt, been there in the midst of the most painful moments of our lives. Do you remember those? I do. Found myself crying in my bathroom, having a miscarriage, a loss that was felt really hard to accept. I just let myself cry and scream and feel the pain. Somehow I trusted there was a reason for that to happen so painfully and I just was not capable of understanding that reason during that particular night.
There was something, though, I felt it at that time, that just carried me with love and wisdom. That allowed me to cry. Allowed me to feel lost. But then collected me and let me, in time, find meaning.
My inner Bodhisattava. That place inside every single each of us. That presence that is wholesome, complete, available, wise, loving, compassionate; that presence was there for me that night and through all the painful moments of my life. My inner guru has been with me, during my deepest pains. Somehow taking my hand and allowing me to feel part of this life, with its ups and downs. Allowing me to feel part of the flow, the river of life.
As, in formal meditation, we get to embrace all thoughts and see them vanish, we can also quiet our minds -even if only a tiny bit-. When that happens, we can intentionally visualize this wise, kind self (some people, including myself visualize them as "future self") and take the practice even deeper to the point of opening the heart and ask this future self for nurturing, words of wisdom, advice, love.
This meditation is about that. But even right now, you can truly close the eyes, take a few deep breaths, allow yourself to feel the sounds of the surroundings. And breathe. Feeling the expansion of the belly and the release, sense the outgoing breath in your nostrils.
Feel the softest part of the heart and visualice yourself going right into it, with your whole being. And saying "hold me, love me". And then answering with love "I'm here and I'm not leaving. I love you", embrace the tenderness that arises. Allow, now, the breathe to breathe itself. Naturally. Quietly.
Do not allow your intellect to step in.
Just open the heart.
"although we live our lives
totally involved with the world...
we know
we know we are of the spirit"
OM NAMAH SHIVAYE
With love,
Polly
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